Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

  Made a huge error in judgement by going to see this. Thought I could mine something of value out of it. I could not. Every chance to be clever or have fun was passed over. The tone should’ve been fun, but felt textbook serious. This alternate universe and it’s subjects could’ve been clever, but were dull and unimaginative. Other than a herd of creepy CGI horses (that I liked for the wrong reasons) and Jimmi Simpson (who I’ve always been strangely drawn to) who you should know as one of the McPoyle twins in It’s Always Sunny, there is nothing here worth writing about. Russian director Timur Bekmambetov caught us off guard with the fun that was Wanted after his divisive Night and then Day Watch vamp flicks. Don’t like to talk badly about movies, but this one just left me feeling empty and dulled. So many missed opportunities.

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Resurrect Dead; The Mystery of The Toynbee Tiles (2011) Now on Instant

Quick heads up. One of my favorite documentaries ever and it’s streaming instant on fuckflix. Highly recommend. Who needs murder and conspiracy to make a compelling mystery?

Must Watch 5 0f 5

Anderson 06/2012

Rating Legend

Must Watch = 5 0f 5

Should Watch = 4 of 5

Could Watch = 3 of 5

Should Not Watch = 2 of 5

Do Not Watch = 1 of 5

That’s My Boy (2012)

  As someone who loved Adam Sandler and now loves Andy Samberg, That’s My Boy is a movie I couldn’t wait to see. What should be considered before the judgement: Sandler makes 3 kinds of movies: those we like a lot:  like Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore and The Wedding Singer. Then there are the movies he makes for the studios:  Spanlish, Click and Jack and Jill (studios think people are stupid and dumb, maybe they’re right.) Then there is the movie that we love: Punch Drunk Love. My Boyis a movie we’ll like.

Comedies are always hard to predict, even after I see them (I did not like The Big Lebowski when I first saw it.) This much I can tell you, it’s good. I laughed numerous times. It’s up there with Billy and Happy and that says a lot. I’ve seen the comments and they are needlessly harsh. People need to relax. However, if you don’t enjoy Sandler to begin with and can’t accept his over the top character (took me about 10 full minutes of screen time,) then this will be a challenge. The meek and affable  Samberg is warranted and necessary to soften this crass script and unruly storyline, but it’s the intense, vein bulging cliched Marine brother Chad that stole the show. Milo Ventimiglia  is the performance that keeps on giving. If you were sick enough to watch The Divide then you may recognize Ventimiglia as one of the two utterly debased gay guys. He is HILarious! He’s military, he’s scary and he’s awesome! Don’t want to say anymore.

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The Great Santini (1979)

If you listen to my podcast The Film Vault (and you probably do) then you know that I hate not knowing about movies that are mentioned on the program. Perhaps the most painful example of this came a few weeks ago when Bryan and I did “Worst Movie Dads” and The Great Santini was in the Listener Top 5. If my utter silence was not enough of a clue as to how disgusted I was with myself, this post shall serve as conclusive evidence. I hurriedly (and during the actual taping mind you) added it to my fuckflix (first cuss in a post) queue and anxiously awaited it’s arrival. Well it came, I saw and wow, was it a good one!

Other than seeing it’s title in my numerous IMDB searches of Robert Duvall, I knew nothing about this Great Santini. Damn shame too as it has everything you’d want from a late 70’s classic. Strong, yet cliched characters (ever wonder where Bubba Gump came from?) and big picture story lines. The memorable acting earned Santini two Oscar nominations with Duvall as the drunk and stringent military father and  Micahel O’Keefe, (the caddy in Caddyshack a year later and still acting today by the way) as the sensitive and ingratiating eldest son.

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The Grey (2011)

As I watched The Grey it got me thinking. Somebody should make a good movie about wolves.

Could Watch 3 0f 5

Anderson 06/2012

Rating Legend

Must Watch = 5 0f 5

Should Watch = 4 of 5

Could Watch = 3 of 5

Should Not Watch = 2 of 5

Do Not Watch = 1 of 5

Prometheus (2012)

Ridley Scott returns to space for the first time in over 30 years, the result: a mixed bag.  I promise not to reveal anything resembling a spoiler as they say, in this brief account. What you should know before you watch this on the big screen (and you should do just that) is this is not a prequel to the Alien series. At one point it was set to be, but Ridley decided to keep it in the same “universe”, but not have any plot or storyline overlap. Ultimately I think it could’ve used some of that legacy.

As for the good part of the bag, Prometheus is one of the best shot films I’ve seen in recent memory. One breathtaking shot after another. We have not seen such immense detail, awe inspiring landscapes and tumultuous atmospheres since 1979. The effects were what you would expect from a film of this scope, budget and with a master at the helm. Idris Elba of The Wire was great per usual as was Michael Fassbender and it was also a treat not to have to see his weener in this one. I’ve almost come to expect it.

The bad includes a plot I never felt invested in, an opening sequence that I may never understand and a cast of characters that I caught myself wishing death upon throughout. Charlize Theron’s hard ass act never really resonated, due in large part to some terribly weak push-ups she’s seen attempting in her establishing scene. Logan Marshall-Green (me neither) plays one of the “smart scientists”, but was more of a nightclub douche who I wished harm upon every time he hit the screen. Best of luck in not hating this man. Moving on to Guy Pearce. You might miss him if you’re not watching carefully. He’s the one dressed as Dr. Evil, but with a small dog rather than a Persian cat. Almost ruined the mere idea of the movie for me. (more…)

Hello There…

This is my new website. I shall use it as a place to host my movies (alright then, shorts,) review films as I see them as well as movies I saw long ago.

Twitter just wasn’t doing it for me. Ever since Facebook went public, it just doesn’t feel the same. I needed more inner action. I needed more space. I just needed more…

So glad to have you here and check back for new movie reviews, pictures and shorts as they come. Add me to your bookmarks for a chance to win nothing at all.

The photo above is a self portrait from the morning after I was beaten over the head with a mag-lite which came immediately after a horrific car wreck which I was also involved in on my way to Loveline. It was 2007 and times were simpler and more hazy. I used the sweet mac mirror application in  Photo Booth to create the effect that both sides of my face were black, blue and swollen. I like it upside down as I believe this makes me look less fat. Despite this, I am deep and complex and deserve all the attention I receive.

-Anderson 06/07/12

Behold

Perhaps the greatest rendering of my likeness in all of history. Thank you to After Disaster listener, Marlyne Hurtado.

The Perfect Host (2010)

Nick Tomnay wrote, directed and edited The Perfect Host. This is a triple threat you don’t often see (the unions don’t allow it.) As somebody who loves visionaries, control freaks and auteurs as well as cold opens I was jacked to see this had both. The more a single name pops up in the opening credits (not producers) the happier I am.

I like David Hyde Peirce as much as the next guy (lukewarm), but he was fantastic as Warwick Wilson. I have to assume that the script was written for him from the start. Part Kevin Spacey, part Buffalo Bill and entirely awesome, the former costar of Frasier was at times unrecognizable.

The Perfect Host is by no means a perfect movie and it comes as no huge surprise that this is Tomnay’s first feature. There were some shots that were beyond that of an independent film and were bordering on student as well as some  plot holes and loose ends (like what ever happened to John’s foot?)  But what worked, worked well. The storyline worked on two levels with genuine intrigue in both the present timeline as well as the flashbacks. Those of us who enjoyed Hard Candy or Swimming with Sharks are sure to recognize some common themes and style. Host is a fun watch and I look forward to anything that Tomnay may write, direct and or edit in the future.

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